Your Loss Can Be Your Gain

 In Adult Development, Presence

We lose things all of the time.

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if you told me that you lost something important or valuable recently. Whether it’s losing a cell phone, an expensive piece of jewelry, an office file with a month’s worth of work or your wallet full of credit cards, losing something feels downrightwrong.

It’s one of those things we think we’re immune to, right?  Yet it’s a fact of life.  We can’t avoid losing something
at some time. Where the hell are my keys, anyway?

What is it with loss? First of all, we expect things to be where they should.

Second, we expect when things are lost, they will turn up right away… exactly when we want.

Third, we become obsessed. We can’t stop looking — or thinking about it.

I know this oh so well. My cat, Tony, decided to vanish for four weeks! I was literally beside myself. I had all the classic thoughts. I hope he’s okay… someone will surely find him… where else to look… who else to contact… if I look just one more place, then he would turn up.

At first, I was concerned but held the thought he would return at any moment. As days turned into weeks, I broke down like a house of cards. I got upset, angry and sad over losing our beloved family cat. Then I figured after a month, there was no way he was returning. So my daughter and I got an adorable orange, male kitten — just like Tony.

The very next night, I heard a loud cry outside my kitchen window, and there was Tony, a little thinner, and none the worse for wear.

I experienced a pretty big “gotcha.” And Tony insisted I learn a LOT about loss in the process.

It wasn’t until I let go that he decided to show up.

I love this experience. It provides a valuable lesson that we can all take to heart. When we let things go and let out any negative thoughts, feelings and emotions go through us, instead of “grabbing us”, we can move forward.

Losing a possession or a pet seems terrible and unfair when it happens. I discovered that this loss only happens so positive changes can occur in our lives. In order for us to grow, the shift between loss and gain must take place.

As we experience this crossing point, it helps us to become more aware, more detached, and more effective leaders.

When you next lose something, take these steps:

1.  Do whatever you can to find the missing item.
2.  Retrace your steps. Ask others for help.
3.  Chill out. Don’t give in to worry.
4.  If it doesn’t turn up, let GO.

I learned that letting go sooner results in the clarity you need to move on. Clinging to what we had, or what was, keeps us out of the present and we walk around distracted and unfocused — and often miss what is going on right now.

In letting go, we gain the clarity that opens up new possibilities. And often results in what was lost being found, or some wonderful new beginning that would have never been (like a cute little kitten).